The Human Guinea Pig

guinea pig

n.

1. Any of various small, short-eared domesticated rodents of the genus Cavia, having variously colored hair and no visible tail. They are widely kept as pets and often used as experimental animals.

2. Informal A person who is used as a subject for experimentation or research.

 

The first thought that came to my mind after I discovered the possible reason why my legs have been so darn itchy! Ever since I came back from US, my legs have just been incredibly itchy. I scratch to the point where I draw blood. And it just doesn't itch once but sometimes over and over again in the same place. I had wondered if it was either dry skin, insect bites or an allergy to food. I was going to get it checked out eventually by I don't like seeing doctors unless my life depended on it. So I showed Elaine and Elaine says it would be best to check my blood sugar. She shared that markings like that on my legs and it being so itchy could be my blood sugar being on a high and she sees it in a family member of her's whom is diabetic. She suggests I cut back on the sugar.

 

When she told me to cut back on the sugar, my thought was, re-commit to the food plan 110%. No make that 120%. It brought me back to the time when I sat in the doctor's office and him telling me that he would put me on medication for high blood pressure and being overweight certainly didn't help. In my head, I heard myself say, "See I told you so. Why were you even experimenting with food? Why couldn't you just have stuck with the food plan and save yourself all this misery?" So again, it took some sort of scare for me to do something with myself.

 

I felt upset and angry with myself but there is nothing much I could do except make the choice to just get with the programme and go back to doing my best.

 

Photos of my legs - that's enough for me!

 

Life in 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Time seriously flies! It is now the 4th day of February of the year 2011. On the last day of January, I had decided to measure myself and referred to my file where I kept all my measurements. It turned out the last time I had measured myself was on 22 February 2010. I felt motivated to use my new measuring tape which I had bough on Amazon. [I will share that with you in my next post. It might be a useful tool if you lived alone or not wanting to rely on anyone to help you with measuring yourself.]

I must say, after a year plus now, my weight has been hovering or yo-yoing around 85, 86, 87 and now recently 88kg. Yes, I have been eating the wrong things. No, I have not been following my food plan strictly when I said I would. [More on that next time round...]

At least though, "something" has gone down even though it's not my weight!

Measurements

22 February 2010 vs 31 January 2011

Weight: 89.4kg vs 88.4kg (loss 1kg)

Hips: 108cm vs 104.1cm (loss 3.9cm)

Thigh: 67cm vs 67cm

Waist: 84cm vs 84cm

Chest: 105.8cm vs 98.2cm (loss 7.6cm)

Arms: 34cm vs 33cm (loss 1cm)

I would say, I have maintained my weight and that I have taken steps to tone my body. It must be all those hip movements in dance! It also goes to show that it's sometimes not just the weight, there are other indicators to show you are progressing to a more healthy body.

I still am not done with this. More to be done! Who is embarking with me on this adventure for 2011?

Re-Commit: Phase 1 Part 2

I have been on a 7 month “holiday” from Phase 1. How do you define a holiday while on this adventure? It means you:

1.       Let loose and have many mad moments OR

2.       Sort of follow the eating plan throughout the week and allow for little “treats” on the side OR

3.       Follow the eating plan Monday to Friday and then when it hits the weekend, you let loose and have many mad moments.

I think mine was a combination of all 3! I became aware I was going through a very familiar pattern of mine which was that of START and STOP. I was struggling to START and when I did START, I then STOPPED not long after, then I had to RE-START and the pattern would go on and on. I admit that when I made the choice to allow myself to eat this and that, I have now found it difficult to really stick to my guns. As a result of the choices I made after Hari Raya, I have put on weight and as of Monday 4 October 2010, my weight came in at 89.1kg.

I admit I went through a period of self-loathing because I was not disciplined as I have been before which was then salvaged with thoughts and reminders of me that I have come so far, how could I not like myself for what I have done? Then I had feelings of fear. I felt fearful about going back to the weight I had started with when I began this adventure. I had fear about being that big, fat girl again who struggled each time she climbed up the stairs or the seat was too small. That was salvaged with reminders from friends that it was up to me to not make that happen again and keep on staying motivated.

On Sunday night, after my last open house for Hari Raya and after a weekend of enjoying delicious food while on a short trip in Kuala Lumpur, I had decided enough was enough. It was time to get serious again. I could visualize me being 10kg lighter but there’s no point visualizing if I didn’t take any action. I am very proud of myself that my decision to re-commit to Phase 1 was not based on fear. It was based on the belief in me that I am capable of achieving my goal and that I deserve this beautiful and healthy body.

Come Monday morning, I was ready once again. I feel so proud of myself for saying NO to the offerings that have come my way. And I feel extremely encouraged now 3 days into my re-commitment my weight has come down from 89.1kg to now 86.6kg. I am back on track!

To all of you out there - my pillars of strength: Thank you once again for the never ending support and encouragement.

Starting Over

After 4 months of not really here nor there with the food plan and after having a weekend where I was eating things I was not supposed to eat, I have resolved to start over my food plan and follow it with dedication and commitment that I experienced when I first started this adventure.

And with this intention in mind, I have this feeling inside where I believe that I will lose weight once again and that by month end of May, I will be seeing some positive results. I will be on my way to success the way I had intended it to be!

Mummy, am I thin enough?

I asked my mum that question the other day and she quickly replies, "No, not yet. You have the shape but keep going." Actually I know that's also the answer! There are people who are telling me that I look good as is and that I don't have to go any further. 

I am very grateful for my mum's support and she knows how much this means to me. She is seeing the difference it is making to my life and she is thinking for the long term too. She holds the intention I will be healthy in my old age and to be healthy in your old age, it is best to take action right now.

Mummy always knows best! 

Getting Back on Track

I can't believe its only been about two weeks since I got back from my trip! I feel like I have done so much in such a short span of time. I've been getting back on track with the food plan. Getting back on track with work. Getting back on track with the singing and clarinet lessons. Getting back on track with the Brunei Speakers' Club. And now, it's time to get back on track with the physical activities! 

When I was in the States, I managed 4 walks, all one hour each. And it felt so good to be able to do that and appreciate the scenery at the same time. I felt it certainly helped me not put on weight while I was in the land of so much food I could eat!

I went for a walk with Elaine this morning at Bukit Shahbandar and I felt I have made so much progress compared to the previous few times we have been together. Not having the excess weight certainly helps! I don't feel that I have to carry such a burden anymore. And Elaine shared with me that she has discovered this little aerobics place in Kiulap in front of Lilli Lingerie. It's worth checking out so we have agreed on Monday at 7pm we'll do one class together.

Balancing exercise, work, family time, social time and me time is now important to me. I still remember myself 1 year ago when we were "assessing" where do we spend parts of our life and under health, in terms of percentage, it was a ZERO. At that point in time, yes I cared about my health but I was not willing to do anything about it. Wow, it sure has changed big time! And I'm really grateful I had that wake up call amongst other wake up calls.

So starting next week, exercise three times a week. Aerobics on Monday, Dance Lessons on Wednesday and Walks on Sunday! 

Life is GOOD! 

New Year Resolutions

I am just amazed how this year I personally know people who have embarked on some sort of weight loss program. Whether they signed up for one or whether it's one they have created based on their own research, it doesn't matter which one they do, it's actually all about taking action! And I'm proud for each and everyone of them because I can safely say, I know how it feels like to finally coming to terms with it.

I now have 3 colleagues who are undergoing their own adventures in weight loss and it is so wonderful for me to know that we are all in it together! It's all about supporting one another and being one another's inspiration. They are already inspiring me with at least a 1kg to 2kg weight loss!

I commend them and my friends for their courage, their determination and their love for life and themselves by taking care of the physical being that houses their beautiful spirit! Don't be afraid of the light and the greatness within!

The Biggest Loser

I heard a lot about The Biggest Loser Asia and I managed to catch one episode the other week which was the first episode where they were choosing the 16 contestants out of 30. As the group of 30 went through the physical challenge which involved 3 minutes of a variety of exercises, I could feel the level of emotion that was surging through the TV screen. I could FEEL with them, the pain they were going through, how hard their hearts were beating, the sweat pouring down their faces, how they were aching from the sudden surge of physical activity... When I saw the contestants cry, I wanted to cry too. I KNOW what it is like. I've been there.

This thought has been going through my mind, about when people ask me HOW do I lose weight. Actually everyone has a pretty good awareness about what they need to do to lose weight. They understand it's a combination of watching what you eat plus exercise. In the hopes of asking this question though, I become aware that they could be looking for a MIRACLE. How can it be done painlessly and quickly? Of course the obvious answer is that there's no such thing and everything is a matter of perspective. If you think it's painful, then it's painful. How do you define the word "fast"? It's all relative.

I went to check The Biggest Loser website - http://biggestloserclub.asia and you sign up for a monthly membership. It's similar to the Adventures in Weight Loss (http://www.adventuresinweightloss.com) I'm on and requires a one time payment. The Biggest Loser looks at a combination of food and exercise together. Adventures in Weight Loss looks at a customized food plan based on your blood profile and encourages exercise too. The tools they use (food diary, menu plan, exercise plans) are almost the same except it's all online which I like because I am becoming an online girl.

However, the key to making anything work and perhaps I have stressed this before is really about commitment and discipline. With commitment and discipline, whatever you do can go a LONG way! It does not matter what weight loss program you sign up for so long as you have commitment and discipline. One reminder is, don't sign up for something that will hurt you in the long run. It is meant to help you, not deter you for living a great life. Figure out what will work best for you in terms of money, time and the level of effort based on the time that you have and the complexity of the program. So starving yourself is not going to help. Exercising until you hurt a body part is not going to help you. Be sensible about this. It took you so long to put on the weight, so shedding it is going to take some time too. Have patience. I tell myself that everyday... (right now fighting off many cravings!)

The miracle will be discovering that deep down inside, you have that commitment and discipline! You can do it! If the contestants on The Biggest Loser can do it and show their will and determination to millions of viewers and at the same time reminding us they are still human, so can YOU!

Feeling Dry

I've not been drinking enough water. My cheeks are so dry! And on Monday I actually had a sore throat from lack of water intake.

Imperative for optimal weight loss and for the removal of toxins is to drink at least 2 litres of water a day which is a habit I have not yet solidified.

I remember I once went to this holistic clinic in Singapore and that time it was a different kind of diet that I went through which I was not too successful because probably that time I was not ready. After filling out a long application form, one of the prescribed ways to lose weight was for me to drink 3.2 litres of water a day! I worked it out to be a mug of water every hour.

I didn't sustain in doing so because it meant I would keep on going to the bathroom which I did in the beginning but I read somewhere that your body will adjust after 6 months and that you will go to the bathroom much less.

I remember my friends used to say, "Love yourself, make sure you go when you need to go! Don't hold it in!"

It's funny they say that but it's so true! Taking care of your body as unit requires so many other parts in order to make it all work together!

What have you done for yourself lately?

I was speaking to one of the adventurers today and she said to me that her husband is really proud of her for choosing to go on this adventure. It's not so much about the actual weight loss but it's more of acknowledging that she is doing something for herself and it's something really good for her too.

She is a full time mum, wife, daughter, sister and employee (and other roles). A person can get so caught up fulfilling all these roles that the one person they least pay attention to is themselves! The people in your life are important, definitely! But you are just as important too!

I recall a conversation I had with a close relative of mine. I was encouraging her to go on this adventure but she said that things at work are just too much and she wouldn't be able to cope. Work will always be there and you take care of your work but will your work take care of you? If you are not well, you will not be able to do your work. If you are not well, you will not be able to be the best of mums. If you are not well, you will not be able to take care of your husband. And so on and so forth...

Will you do something for yourself one of these days? A small step can go a long way. It's about acknowledging the greatness and the potential that you possess. I got this quote from Linda:

"Do not fail yourself by failing to act on the greatness in you. 

Learn to live a heroic life!"

And you will be able to do so much more for yourself and for others!

My Mad Moment Sussed Out

In one of my previous entries, I had asked "What does a mad moment look like?" and by jove, I think I've got it! (very thick British accent)

According to the rules set out in this adventure, whenever you have a "mad moment", it will set your weight loss back by 5 days. Not sure of the science behind it but my semi-logical mind tells me that because you have been detoxing your body and the sudden rush of "chemicals" the body is not accustomed to will have an effect on the acceleration of metabolism as a result of the detox. It will slow down the burn that was created because the body is trying to figure out what are all these "new" foreign substances!

There are two versions of a "mad moment":

Version 1

When you pig out and eat with abandon!

Version 2

You don't pig out but at each meal or at each snack you say, "A little bit of this or that won't hurt." And then you keep doing it each time and have a little bit here and a little bit there. As they say, "Sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit!" Direct translation: "Bit by bit, after awhile it will turn into a hill!" And we go down the slope from there... It all adds up!

The concept of "a little bit won't hurt you" is a lovely reassuring concept, however, I realized that if I'm really serious about seeing results and I've worked so darn hard so far, is to just keep on going and ignore the voice inside my head that says, "a little bit won't hurt you, you've done so well so far!" Uhuh... not when you have another 20-30kg left to go!

I really would like to see the scale move down to 99.1kg please! That would be me hitting my 20kg mark equivalent to my second bag of rice. But because, and I will openly admit that I am human, I've been naughty last week with Version 2 of my mad moment(s), it's not moving fast enough.

So there, I should have been a good student and followed the rules to see results but I guess I needed to do it this way so that I could internalize the lesson faster! Again, not to judge myself or beat myself up, just learn the lesson and move on.

I was good today! 

A Skewed Perspective

To date I've lost up to 18kg so far and as I look at myself in the mirror, I find that I just see me as I normally see myself. What I'm trying to say is, I don't really see a smaller person looking back at me. I just see myself as big while others keep telling me I am shrinking in size. Now I know how those who have been deemed anorexic feel like.

Obviously being with this body for so long, you get used to what you see especially when you see yourself everyday. I have to keep on REMINDING myself that I've come so far. While I outwardly celebrate the success and soon the second bag of rice coming up, the way I see myself does not match the feelings of success.

Feeling this contradiction and having this awareness, I have decided to paste an affirmation on the mirror about my body so as to nourish it with love as it continues on this journey. Now the next practice is to look at myself in the eyes (while looking at the mirror) and to really celebrate the person that I am no matter the weight, the size, the shape, the height, the colour etc... 

Jennifer actually gave me this idea, which just didn't seem obvious to me because when I went to their place in Taipei, she had these affirmations I sent her through email stuck on her mirror. I thought it's a brilliant idea and all brilliant ideas ought to be practiced!

I got these affirmations from one of Louise Hay's books on affirmations.

I love my body

My body is a glorious place to live. I rejoice that I have chosen this particular body because it is perfect for me in this lifetime. It is the perfect size and shape and colour. It serves me so well. I marvel at the miracle that is my body. I choose the healing thoughts that create and maintain my healthy body and make me feel good. I love and appreciate my beautiful body!

I love my weight

I am the perfect weight for my self at this moment, It is exactly the weight that I have accepted for myself. I have the ability to change my weight if I desire. I choose the thoughts that keep me comfortable and satisfied with my body and its size. I love and appreciate my beautiful weight.

At the moment I'm listening to an audio CD by Louise Hay called 101 Power Thoughts and it's really brilliant! When I am present and paying attention to what she is saying (because sometimes the mind just drifts away), it just gives me those a-ha! moments and I do my best to internalize the affirmation. When I remember it, I just have to *smile*.

Shane's Trip to Food Paradise

I received a text message from Shane today. She went on a business trip to Hong Kong. I've been to Hong Kong before and the halal food I've tasted there is so yummy! I especially love the funky desserts they have! And Hong Kong is known to be "Food Paradise" that even the Asian Food Channel or was it Travel and Living has a competition about winning a trip for food and wine in Hong Kong! So imagine what it would be like when you can eat anything and everything!

Here's what she said,

"Hi girl! How u doing? I survived a trip to food paradise, so proud of myself not giving in to temptation!! Lost 5.2kg so far! yay!!!"

Congratulations Shane!  I am so proud of you!

*Pat on back for you and a BIG HUG to go with it!*

Does it feel "Shri" to you?

Photo Insert: Courtesy of Asia One

I attended a yoga workshop today by Jac Fang and she shared with us Anusara yoga which she had learned from her immersion in Bali not too long ago. I really enjoy having Jac as my (if possession was ever at all possible!) yoga teacher because she has helped me believe in my body's capabilities and I will be one of those who will burn that myth into the ground about fat people not being flexible. Your flexibility as I discovered has nothing to do with your shape or size. I am pretty flexible that I can touch the ground with my hands and it will not hurt the back of my legs as I stretch bending forward.

For me, yoga is a practice whereby it helps raise awareness to our bodies. Every single move and pose in which we position our bodies into has a purpose. Just as every type of food we eat has a purpose too and being on this programme helps bring awareness to your body and what you put inside to fuel it.

What I discovered in today's workshop was how to engage our muscles fully in order to completely experience how powerful the body really is. I could feel my muscles really working its best and although it felt awkward in the beginning in doing some of the moves, I could see improvements in the way I did lunges, the plank, downward dog and also the cobra pose. Even standing up with my arms stretched up to the sky felt different today. It was as if I was truly surrendering myself to what the universe has to offer. And I always remember that in life, we must embrace the good and the bad for how we can appreciate the good if we do not know what the bad feels like or looks like. Engaging the muscles I relate to engaging ourselves in the life that we have. Life is so short to let it slip past us and for us to dwell in thoughts that do not serve us.

What I learned was an important question. "Does it feel 'shri' to you?" Meaning - does it feel comfortable to you? Does it feel good for you? All this time, when I have done yoga I have always wanted to achieve "perfection" but really how do you define perfection and who's definition do you have in the first place? When Jac asked the question, does it feel 'shri' to you? I thought, I do not have to "force" my body into positions in which I am uncomfortable or that my mind tells me that I am less than. It is about doing what is best for me without judgement and comparison to others and making sure I enjoy the process as I go along. After all, life is meant to be made up of discoveries!

I link this to the weight loss adventure I am currently on. I ask myself, does it feel 'shri' for me? And so far, after a week into it, I would give a resounding YES! I feel a lot lighter, some of my clothes are not as tight as before and even though it is the fasting month, I do have a good level of energy in the morning. I really am beginning to feel the 'shri-ness' of doing this. And while I smell food on the dinner table of things I cannot eat (I will literally pick up the bowl and bring it to my nose!) and comment that they look really tasty, I do not regret embarking on this adventure at all!

Just as with yoga, everything that we do requires constant practice and always remembering to take action. So I hope in the next few days to engage my muscles in the privacy of my own bedroom and feel how 'shri' it is doing these poses. I take comfort in knowing that I am taking steps everyday to create a better body and a better life for me.

Thank you Jac for today's workshop. And thank you for always being a caring, compassionate, passionate and empowering teacher.

My Favourite Channel

Ever since I've started this programme, my favourite channel on TV has to be the Asian Food Channel! I watch it thinking there must be something I could do that I could tweak to fit my eating plan and I watch it so I could drool at the yummy food that I am not allowed to eat YET.

Why YET? I was on the phone with Shane today and we talked about how that this is only temporary. Phase 1 is intentionally made the way it is made so that you detox your body and eliminate food that potentially cause weight gain. That would be pretty much all the sugars, starches and carbohydrates. And I know I'm not supposed to weigh myself daily but I am amazed with the results so far! So being in this temporary state is when you reach your goal weight. For me I estimate 6 to 8 months for me to do that. I shall continue to be patient and forge on!

I will not talk about Phase 2 or 3 so much now until I am close to getting there. But I do look forward to that moment!

Anyway, back to the present moment. I have not managed to get recipes from AFC but what I do notice is how simple it is preparing fantastic looking meals! And I become aware of the ingredients they put in the dishes. My favourite chefs thus far has to be Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson. They both seriously rock in the "making-food-look-good-and-simple" category!

Here are more meals which I have prepared and also one prepared by Mummy and the other by Auntie Lauren since the last post.

Beef in curry powder (I checked the ingredients, they are all legit for the eating plan!) stir fried with ginger, garlic and onion and lime juice sitting on a bed of chinese cabbage stir fried with garlic and mushrooms and tomatoes.

Home made fish ball soup with broccoli, chinese cabbage and mushrooms. 

Add soy sauce to taste.

Chicken Salad - Chicken was coated with turmeric powder before frying in olive oil (not too much oil. You need a good non-stick pan). Used lettuce and celery and chili to give it colour.

Beef coated in curry powder. Served with stir fry kai lan and asparagus. 

The asparagus made a big difference to the taste. It was so yummy!

Shall we dance?

I had my dance lesson this morning and I am sure it has been the same as all other Saturday morning lessons but for some reason, I was so beat after it was all over! But this time I was able to walk to my car, go for a facial, take a nap at home and go for my clarinet lesson. So I still had energy to make the rest of my day work for me.

I think I have only been dancing for the past 5 months or so. Elaine had introduced me to my first dance instructor at D'Music Motion in Kiarong and I had no idea what to expect. I was quite reserved about the whole idea of having lessons one-on-one and being at close contact with another person who you have the potential of stepping on their feet if you have what lots of people term it as the two-left-feet syndrome. And after that trial lesson, I was like, "Sign me up!" Apparently I pick up the dance steps quite quick!

I have finally found a form of exercise I am able to stick with. Why did I stick with the dancing? Frankly because I am person who needs to have variety (not sure if that works for relationships with others)! If it was the same thing over and over again, I would get bored and think that eating out with friends would be more exciting. 

With dance, I get to learn different dances and even if I'm learning the same dance, they would teach me new moves to incorporate into the current moves I already know. And even if you know the current moves, sometimes you can forget them and it seems like it's all new again. Plus, even though you know the current moves, they teach you at perfecting them so that you'll be as good as other professional dancers (so I hope!).

Dancing really keeps me on my toes (literally!). You really have to be alert while you dance. To me dancing helps me train my brain of new things which can help later on with old age in keeping the mind active. And dancing helps raise my level of awareness because I begin to pay attention to the details and also appreciate my body with what it is capable of doing.

It is just so much fun! You actually really don't notice it's "exercise". I am sure you have heard this before and that is to find something you truly enjoy. Once you enjoy it, the higher the chances of sticking with it. And whether we like it or not, any form of physical activity can help contribute to maintaining good health for your mind, body and soul (please refer to the cartoon by Randy) and of course, in my case, it will definitely help with the weight loss.

Mood Swings

It has been 4 full days being on this programme. I've been watching my vital signs i.e. how I feel. 

Day 1 - By the end of the day, I had a BIG headache! Good thing Mummy was pressing on the lympathic points on my head so it helped the blood flow. I made sure I drank lots of water that night.

Day 2 - I felt surprisingly energetic! I sprung out of bed and bounced to work.

Day 3 - I woke up and felt my right leg was aching or had cramps. It didn't stop me from having my dance lesson that afternoon. I also noticed I was easily irritated. Grrr...

Day 4 - I felt little things can really annoy me and I start getting angry easily. Also, I hit a low point at the end of the day that when Shane called to ask me how I was doing, I had tears in my eyes. I was also feeling physically exhausted after my dance lesson. I think Jun really worked me hard during class. I could barely walk...

It says that the first 7-10 days is the adjustment period. 

God give me strength to continue!

Shane

I met Shane at the dinner I attended the other night and I asked her about her progress. Shane started on the programme about a week ago. I still remember us laughing and giggling over the portion sizes and what we could and could not eat. When I saw her, she looked healthy and whether my eyes were deceiving me, she looked like she was glowing!

We had a good chat and it's nice to hear the perspective of another person of how they are making the programme work for them because Shane is a busy retailer. Since many of us are busy people, we tend to use the busy-ness as an excuse not to do something like this. Shane said her being busy actually helped so you don't think so much about food!  She said she felt more energetic and did not feel hungry since the programme focuses on ensuring we have our 3 meals a day plus 2 snacks in between if we wanted it.

The result so far after a week? She has lost 2kg! Congratulations Shane!

I am grateful I am not alone in Brunei doing this programme and that I have my own support group whether they are or not on the programme. Shane says I can call her anytime in case I want to give in to that beautiful piece of chocolate cake  

Taken at Angkor Wat, Cambodia - July 2009

From Left: Yvonne, Me, Pek Ching, Angel, Shane & Jeolyn

The Last Supper?

It felt a bit strange having dinner this evening knowing that it was my "last" no holds barred meal. My mind debated whether I should actually go through with this. Mummy made her very yummy custard which she only makes once a year during the fasting month. And my mind was saying, "think about all those yummy food you're going to miss!" Uhuh. I think I've already stuffed myself with yummy food over the past 25 years (not counting the first 5 years when I was fed food which I did not necessarily choose). What is just 6 to 8 months not eating it all? 

Actually my dad suggested that I ought to start after the fasting month is over and enjoy the first 10 days of Hari Raya. I could. That would have been an option but I was thinking to myself, I've had many years of enjoying good Hari Raya food and for some reason I brought myself back to those days where I felt bloated from eating so much. I don't think I would like to put myself through that. I look at all my baju kurungs which I've accumulated over the past few years and I think it would be nice to fit into some of them again.

Last night I had dinner at Pek Ching and YC's house. The chef was Boon Hui and he cooked us a fantastic meal! We had lamb with potatoes, roast chicken drumstick, seafood pasta, mashed potatoes, salad and pumpkin soup. I really enjoyed my meal but I wondered whether I was eating to compensate I would not get to enjoy some of the food come the start of the eating plan. By the time dessert came, I had my portion AND part of Yvonne's portion and I knew that I was over doing it. I think before I wouldn't have given it much thought. Just the idea of going on this eating plan is already raising my levels of awareness.

Some of my friends who were present at the dinner were saying to me that if I lose all this weight that I have right now I wouldn't be as huggable as they have experienced all this time. *Sigh* I really appreciate them for accepting me for who they see on the inside but it really is important I do this. It has really become clear that I am doing this for myself and no one else. 

It's time to get serious. And I will do my best!

Pills Pills Pills

I carried my folder to work today to show some of my colleagues. And I guess I was hoping I would have time to read it but I didn't. But what was stuck at the back of my mind was that I needed to get the supplements to go with this programme.

Being on a few programmes before, they would normally ask you to buy supplements which are their own brand and product line as part of the programme which I am convinced is just a gimmick to make more money. I was surprised when I found out the programme relied on supplements from Pharmanex.

One of the ways to be successful in a programme such as this is proper supplementation to support the body and through my blood test, they were able to identify which supplements would be ideal for me to consume as part of the eating plan. And when I read further the descriptions of the recommended supplements, I begin to understand why they were recommended. Now I am not sure if this is just marketing involved but it sounds like "wow - so good ah!"

The targeted supplements are meant to help you: 

1. Reduced nutritional cravings - no more cravings for Maggi Mee!

2. Insulin stabilization (loss of sugar cravings) - no more cravings for a DQ Blizzard!

3. Increased energy - more dance classes!

4. Improved sleep patterns - no more sleeping late?

5. Lowered stress and improved cortisol levels - no more waking up with moments of panic!

6. Improved metabolic response - the fat keeps on burning! Great!

The funny thing was when I went to Nu Skin just now, they had none of the supplements in stock! My balloon deflated temporarily but I can view it that (a) these supplements are really popular and (b) they just don't order a lot in the first place. I like to think (a) would be the case! Supplies should be coming in next week and they would give me a call.

I will be consuming the following:

1. Lifepak 

2. TRA Complex

3. Relaxation Formula

4. Marine Omega

Each of them have their own benefits and will assist with the weight loss. In the mean time, I will still continue my other set of supplements while waiting for these to arrive.

In my head, all I can think of is the founder of the programme Graham Park who lost 43kgs in 23 weeks! If he can do it, so can I! And just so you can be inspired too, here are his before and after photos taken from his website http://www.7weightlosssecrets.com/

Thank You Graham!