The Human Guinea Pig

guinea pig

n.

1. Any of various small, short-eared domesticated rodents of the genus Cavia, having variously colored hair and no visible tail. They are widely kept as pets and often used as experimental animals.

2. Informal A person who is used as a subject for experimentation or research.

 

The first thought that came to my mind after I discovered the possible reason why my legs have been so darn itchy! Ever since I came back from US, my legs have just been incredibly itchy. I scratch to the point where I draw blood. And it just doesn't itch once but sometimes over and over again in the same place. I had wondered if it was either dry skin, insect bites or an allergy to food. I was going to get it checked out eventually by I don't like seeing doctors unless my life depended on it. So I showed Elaine and Elaine says it would be best to check my blood sugar. She shared that markings like that on my legs and it being so itchy could be my blood sugar being on a high and she sees it in a family member of her's whom is diabetic. She suggests I cut back on the sugar.

 

When she told me to cut back on the sugar, my thought was, re-commit to the food plan 110%. No make that 120%. It brought me back to the time when I sat in the doctor's office and him telling me that he would put me on medication for high blood pressure and being overweight certainly didn't help. In my head, I heard myself say, "See I told you so. Why were you even experimenting with food? Why couldn't you just have stuck with the food plan and save yourself all this misery?" So again, it took some sort of scare for me to do something with myself.

 

I felt upset and angry with myself but there is nothing much I could do except make the choice to just get with the programme and go back to doing my best.

 

Photos of my legs - that's enough for me!

 

The Vicious Cycle

Photo: One of my meals while I was on holiday in US last year. Those tacos, I ate EVERYTHING and I helped my friends finish off their food too.

Today, I tried to going back on my phase 1 food plan - strictly. I was doing well so far until I hit lunch time. I had carried my lunch with me to the restaurant where my colleagues were having lunch and there was a basket of bread rolls. I started out by eating only the skin of the bread roll and then I progressed to the soft centre of the bread. I managed not to spread any butter. Then, some minutes later, deep in conversation, I saw there was one bread roll left, I picked it up, ate the skin and then progressed to the soft centre of the bread. By the time I was eating the second bread roll, I had started to feel guilty but I still ate it when I could I have stopped. I guess you could say I chose to eat it.

Then in the afternoon, I bought a packet of salted tapioca chips and ate the whole packet. It was not a very large packet but it's not part of the food plan either. It was really salty and I was questionning myself whether I should continue eating it because it was so salty but that part in my brain where it tells me stop somehow seems to have its wires loose today and for a couple of days, weeks and months now. So I ate the whole packet and felt guilty afterwards.

Truth be told, right now, it seems REALLY HARD to get back on to the food plan! Yes, I am human after all. I have noticed some eating habits which probably existed pre-food plan days. When I eat something, I MUST finish it. The bread roll and the tapioca chips are good examples and I can name you some more situations where this has occurred. I am not sure where this eating habit comes from but this seriously takes a lot of effort to not do it. Only with awareness can it be overcome.

So when you think you have conquered something which for me happens to be a 30+ kg weight loss, that's only half the battle. There is still something deeply embedded inside of me that makes me eat and how I eat it. Until I resolve this and understand where it comes from, I will continue to live in a vicious cycle.

Life in 2011

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Time seriously flies! It is now the 4th day of February of the year 2011. On the last day of January, I had decided to measure myself and referred to my file where I kept all my measurements. It turned out the last time I had measured myself was on 22 February 2010. I felt motivated to use my new measuring tape which I had bough on Amazon. [I will share that with you in my next post. It might be a useful tool if you lived alone or not wanting to rely on anyone to help you with measuring yourself.]

I must say, after a year plus now, my weight has been hovering or yo-yoing around 85, 86, 87 and now recently 88kg. Yes, I have been eating the wrong things. No, I have not been following my food plan strictly when I said I would. [More on that next time round...]

At least though, "something" has gone down even though it's not my weight!

Measurements

22 February 2010 vs 31 January 2011

Weight: 89.4kg vs 88.4kg (loss 1kg)

Hips: 108cm vs 104.1cm (loss 3.9cm)

Thigh: 67cm vs 67cm

Waist: 84cm vs 84cm

Chest: 105.8cm vs 98.2cm (loss 7.6cm)

Arms: 34cm vs 33cm (loss 1cm)

I would say, I have maintained my weight and that I have taken steps to tone my body. It must be all those hip movements in dance! It also goes to show that it's sometimes not just the weight, there are other indicators to show you are progressing to a more healthy body.

I still am not done with this. More to be done! Who is embarking with me on this adventure for 2011?