Scale Disclaimer

Today, I met an old colleague while I was withdrawing money from the ATM. After we exchanged our "Helloes" the usual (I am used to hearing this now) statement came - "You have lost weight, what did you do?!" To which I replied, "I just went on a diet." And oddly enough, this was a response I was not expecting, "Why did you do that? I liked you before this!" *Raise one eyebrow moment* I proceeded to explain that I was once 120kg and it was getting a little bit tiring carrying that much weight. She didn't believe me. But that didn't matter. I was just surprised with her response.

I have lately come to not rely on my weighing scale. I have not stepped on it for I think more than 3 weeks, or even possibly a month now. I had realized that looking down at the numbers on the weighing scale didn't make me happy. I used to be happy to see my progress but lately, progress does not come as easily as it used to. Instead it would send me to mad panic of "What did I eat last night that made me put on 2kg?" And then I throw myself back into the food plan in hopes of losing it the next day.

As much as I love the food plan and this sexy body, there had to be another mechanism in which I am not constrained by numbers and that is of course, through subjective feelings! I must say that as long as I feel good and I can accept what I see of myself in the mirror then I would have already succeeded because in the past, I could never accept myself thinking I was not even good enough to step outside the door. I still continue to be conscious of what I eat because there are still so many of my lovely clothes which I would like to continue looking good in but I will tell you that feeling of guilt of eating an "illegal item" has dissipated for now. I feel the need to live a little!

I am just glad for now, I am not obsessed with those numbers on the weighing scale. And I am grateful that I can now accept myself even more for who I am. What a wonderful realization!

Thank you Julia for the wonderful pictures - such great reminders!

Run Kath Run!

"It does not matter how slowly you go so as long as you do not stop." These were the wise words of Confucious which caught Kath's eye while she was one day in the MRT station in Singapore mentally preparing herself for her first run in the Kota Kinabalu marathon.

[Photo Insert: Kel, Kath's sister holding the poster as motivation for the marathon]

Kath openly admitted she did not train as much as she could for her first upcoming marathon in which she decided to attempt 21km! And even with not as much training, Kath still completed her 21km in 3 hours 50+ minutes! Kath had said that she missed the qualifying time of 3 hours and 30 minutes but the point really is, she completed 21km! Would you be able to complete 21km right now?

There are several lessons to learn from Kath as she pursues her career as a marathon runner:

1. You do not need a slim body to run a marathon. All you need is the right mental attitude and the belief and the determination that you CAN!

2. This is not a race against others. This is a test to see your OWN CAPABILITY!

3. Even if you finish last or find difficulty in finishing, the point is you DID NOT GIVE UP and you still FINISHED what you started!

4. Now that you have had your first experience, you will take steps to make each opportunity an EVEN BETTER experience than the one before. For Kath, now that she has had her first taste of the half-marathon, she is out to do MORE! She has signed up for the Penang Bridge marathon and is anxiously waiting for the registration of the SCB marathon to open. And on top of that, Kath has embarked on a more serious training programme that the effect will be to help her pursue her goal of improving her time as she runs her next marathon.

I am really proud of Kath - her positive attitude and willingness is what makes her succeed in not just marathon running but in all aspects of her life. And I can so relate that to weight loss. It all starts from what's up there in our heads - if we believe that we CAN, we truly CAN DO IT!

Run Kath Run!

You are an inspiration to me and I know you will be an inspiration to others.

I love you my dear friend. You are the BEST!

 

 

Why?

Photo Insert: The entrance to the gym at JPMC.

Sometimes I wonder why do I pay someone to torture me?

I decided to go back to work out at the gym but since it has been awhile and I wondered about my level of motivation, I contacted the personal trainer whom I had trained with back in 2003 but I stopped because I fell down half a flight of stairs and the recovery took quite a while that I had lost my motivation to return to the gym.

It was still the same gym but the gym has improved tremendously with all the equipment available, the flooring, the new ladies section etc. And it's still reasonably priced!

I have only had 3 sessions so far. Only being able to fit gym in on Sunday mornings since my evenings during the week is filled with dancing.

The first session I was in so much pain because a few days before I had attended cross fit and my muscles were only beginning to wake up. We did lunges, squats with weights and focused on my back and triceps. Wearing the fitted T-shirt gave Tony the idea what to work on. It hurt like hell.

The second session, we focused on my upper body - chest, shoulders and biceps. I quickly came to realize, all the upper body strength I had has quickly dissolved. I struggled with the push ups, the chest press and the bicep curls. I thought to myself that once I regain my upper body strength, I will not take it for granted!

The third session we went back to legs, back and triceps. It was not as bad but my back muscles need a lot of work as I once again struggled.

In all of the sessions we fit in cardio of at least 30 minutes and tummy exercises.

I have renewed my gym membership with JPMC now and I will do my best to fit in some lunch time work outs. I still dream of a bikini body and I am taking one step at a time! This time, I will not take for granted how my body shapes up and just appreciate that I did it and that I can do it! All my 3 sessions would have been even more challenging if I was at my original weight of 120kg! I am truly blessed that I can do much more now!

With Honours!

I am still actively dancing. I kind of went over the top last year and part of early this year trying to fit in four teachers! Now I have settled with 3 teachers and quite content in learning from each of them.

On 8th March 2011, I sat for the United Kingdom Alliance Dance Exams for Latin and Standard. I find it amusing how the many hours of classes translates to 1 minute and 30 seconds in front of Mr. Examiner. It just goes to show there is no limit to the achievement of perfection.

For both Latin and Standard I took Bronze. There are a few levels of which Bronze is the lowest. With bronze, I had to learn 2 dances according to the syllabus stated. There is a minimum required of the basic figures/steps to show during the exam. With Latin, my teacher developed a routine for Rumba and Cha Cha Cha. For Standard, my other teacher developed a routine for Waltz and Tango.

It was quite stressful in some sense to "study" for this exam. I not only had to worry about my feet, there was my hands, my posture, my expression and so on and so forth. On the day of the exam, I was slightly nervous but since I was not dancing by myself, it was not so bad. My teachers were my dance partners and I placed my total trust in them to lead me without me becoming dependent on them.

The results came out on 1st May 2011. At one point I had a dream I scored distinctions! But alas, it was not meant to be. I received Honours which I will translate it to next best to a distinction! Mr. Examiner gave some really good comments which I am sure my teachers and I will be taking away with. In fact, one of my teachers is already starting to prepare me for next year's exam.

Will I be taking next year's exam for Silver? That's 3 dances and extra steps to learn from the syllabus. The decision will come eventually but in the mean time, I will carry on dancing!

A BIG THANK YOU to my teachers for being patient with me!

With Jun for Latin

With Alain for Standard

Graduated with Honours for Bronze and Mummy supporting me all the way!