A Skewed Perspective

To date I've lost up to 18kg so far and as I look at myself in the mirror, I find that I just see me as I normally see myself. What I'm trying to say is, I don't really see a smaller person looking back at me. I just see myself as big while others keep telling me I am shrinking in size. Now I know how those who have been deemed anorexic feel like.

Obviously being with this body for so long, you get used to what you see especially when you see yourself everyday. I have to keep on REMINDING myself that I've come so far. While I outwardly celebrate the success and soon the second bag of rice coming up, the way I see myself does not match the feelings of success.

Feeling this contradiction and having this awareness, I have decided to paste an affirmation on the mirror about my body so as to nourish it with love as it continues on this journey. Now the next practice is to look at myself in the eyes (while looking at the mirror) and to really celebrate the person that I am no matter the weight, the size, the shape, the height, the colour etc... 

Jennifer actually gave me this idea, which just didn't seem obvious to me because when I went to their place in Taipei, she had these affirmations I sent her through email stuck on her mirror. I thought it's a brilliant idea and all brilliant ideas ought to be practiced!

I got these affirmations from one of Louise Hay's books on affirmations.

I love my body

My body is a glorious place to live. I rejoice that I have chosen this particular body because it is perfect for me in this lifetime. It is the perfect size and shape and colour. It serves me so well. I marvel at the miracle that is my body. I choose the healing thoughts that create and maintain my healthy body and make me feel good. I love and appreciate my beautiful body!

I love my weight

I am the perfect weight for my self at this moment, It is exactly the weight that I have accepted for myself. I have the ability to change my weight if I desire. I choose the thoughts that keep me comfortable and satisfied with my body and its size. I love and appreciate my beautiful weight.

At the moment I'm listening to an audio CD by Louise Hay called 101 Power Thoughts and it's really brilliant! When I am present and paying attention to what she is saying (because sometimes the mind just drifts away), it just gives me those a-ha! moments and I do my best to internalize the affirmation. When I remember it, I just have to *smile*.