Tying the Knot

Yes, you may congratulate me on my bright future when I tie the knot perhaps some time next year! Except... I have no idea who I am tying the knot with. So while I await or perhaps explore who is going to fill that vacancy, I decided to use this idea as a way to motivate myself to get into better shape. I will just visualise that I am getting married next year and with that visualisation, draw strength from it to continue to be mindful with my food and do more exercise so long as, at the end of the day, I would be the most beautiful bride I could be on my special day. The thought is very captivating. 

And as I undergo my plans with the fasting month coming to an end and Hari Raya Aidilfitri is around the corner, I reflect on my journey thus far. I can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I embarked on my adventures in weight loss. The biggest challenge at the moment has been to maintain the weight loss and at the same time enjoy life. I have a feeling (actually verified by the weighing scale) that I have put on some weight but I also find it interesting I am embracing my physical self more and not forgetting acknowledging and accepting my inner self which is the most important. 

With that, people still see me as a beautiful being for which I am eternally grateful. At the age of 32 years old, I have finally learned to wear make up. I had undergone Lasik on 30th May 2011 and no longer needing to wear glasses. And finally did a speech about being gorgeous instead of my weight loss. It turned out to be a funny speech - depending on how far I get with it, I will share the script one day but the photo below is me dressed up as can be, in one of my evening gowns that hugs my shape which takes a lot of confidence to wear and using make up with advice from good teachers.

What I feel right now is - I am truly blessed in so many ways. Words can't describe it right now but the feeling brings me warmth and a lot of happiness.

Thank you for following me on my adventures! It has been fun! And I hope your adventures have been just as awesome!

Welcome to the Family!

This entry is dedicated to Shaheen (photo insert: L - Shaheen, C - Zana, R - Kath)who has recently signed up for Adventures in Weight Loss! Welcome Shaheen!

I have known Shaheen since we studied together at the International Islamic University Malaysia. We were introduced by a mutual friend, Adna and we just really hit it off!

I think for as far as I can remember and Shaheen can correct me on this one, we would talk about weight loss on a regular basis since we've known each other so this subject about healthy eating and working out are not unknown to us.

Since I started my adventure, Shaheen has been on her own adventure too, attempting to lose weight her own way. I admire her drive, commitment and dedication to following an extremely tough exercise training programme and at the same time, really be mindful of the food she consumes. In a nutshell - IT'S SERIOUSLY HARD WORK!

I received an email from her today which I can feel just breathes a big sigh of relief! Here's that email:

Shaheen Syed to me
1:52 PM (8 hours ago)

Dearest Rozana,

Today is my first day on the pharmanex supplements namely omega 3 and lifePax.  I am very excited to embark on this new method of loosing weight.
You know what excited me the most? The fact that I don't have to bust my butt doing high intensity workouts everyday and have sore muscles :)

I am going to do light weight training, cycling, walking and I am going to join the yoga group at my gym.  I'd love to join the belly dancing and other dancing groups too. Lets see what
my knee has to say about that!

Are you still on the supplements now that you are in your phase 2? How long were you in phase1? Did you loose all of your 32kg in phase 1 it self?
So many questions!  Okay, I'll also keep my self updated thru ur blog.  Take care and have a blessed day ahead!

Love and hugz,
Shaheen

She has a lot of questions which I will answer in another entry. At this stage, I would just like to share how happy I am that one of my best friends is going to have a life changing experience!

Rub Rub Rub

I had this question in my head over the past few weeks - if someone was thinner, would their thighs rub together when they walk or only overweight people would have such a problem?

I recall how wearing a skirt or baju kurung on a hot day could become torturous because you start sweating and then your thighs become damp and the next thing you know, the more you walk, the more the skin on each thigh rubs against one another and then, you realize after getting home that you have a RASH! Then to cool down the rash and to make walking bearable I used to slap on a lot of talcum powder to "dry" it out and then put on some pants so that my skin didn't have to touch. After maybe 1 or 2 days, the rash would have subsided.

After many occasions of that happening, I then decided one day to start wearing pants on the inside of all my skirts and baju kurung. That made it much more comfortable! I think I wore pants on the inside of my skirts for 2 or 3 years and never had a rash again.

Now though, 35kg weight loss down the road, I had wondered, what if I didn't wear my pants inside my skirts. It was not exactly an awkward feeling but I had just wanted to know and I guess appear "normal". My thighs looked as if they were still touching each other. Should I risk it? And I did. I was again delighted! (All these little discoveries just make me so happy!) Thighs did not rub against each other! Therefore, no rash! 

My earlier question, I think no matter what size we are, our thighs will still rub together. I'm just grateful my thighs don't rub together to form a rash anymore!

Limit-less

Last night I took Julia for a dance trial at the dance studio. I wanted her to trial the 2 new dance teachers - Jhung and James. And she had a ball! We were both high on endorphins as we were having dinner afterwards and we shared excitedly about dancing! 

While Julia trialed with Jhung, I had a class with James and we focused on Samba. What makes the experience interesting is that James not knowing me and him being very young does not know my limits. And because he does not know my limits, he pushes me to do things which I actually found difficult but I did it anyway! So it goes to show, I have been the one setting myself limits! The world truly is my oyster but only if I chose to do something about it and also if it fits in with my life purpose. I could have been that model-actress-singer-dancer-teacher-mentor-life coach-speaker ages ago! But this is a process of self-discovery and it's funny how that process has been further accelerated with the weight loss. I am just simply amazed with everything so far and I feel truly blessed with my life.

So now dance is happening 3 to 4 times a week and on top of that squeezing in time at the gym. I just signed up with Jhung so that should be an interesting experience since he does not know me and hence he does not know my limits! How far will I go? Only time will tell. I know for a fact, I am truly making progress in more ways than one!

Validation: Size 14

That's two weeks in a row that Kath has been my workout buddy on Fridays. We normally concentrate on arms and abs and today, I'm aching from the workout! A good sign I am using all my muscles!

After the workout was done, Kath gave to me my birthday present. She bought me two tops from Marks and Spencers on her recent holiday in Kuala Lumpur. Regardless of being hot and sweaty, I just had to try them on. So there we were in the changing room of the gym admiring me in my new tops! I was jumping up and down with joy that it was a size 14! 

The clothes I have been buying all this time don't necessarily indicate the size and it's just a nice feeling to know that if I were to walk into M&S, Dorothy Perkins, Top Shop etc... I just can head for size 14! And also, this is validation, I am smaller!

Previous Dress Size: 20-22

Current Dress Size: 14

Well done Zana!

8.5km/h

I have finally made use of my gym membership!

I have gone to the gym a few times and enjoying every minute of it. I can even now jog on the treadmill! I recall the days when I first started out gym and my personal trainer first asked me to walk around 5km/h and he increased that to 5.5km/h and then he got me to jog at 6km/h and then he tried increasing that to 6.3km/h and finally to 6.5km/h. I could do it, but I could not sustain long and it just felt so heavy! Plus with everything bouncing twice as hard, it hurt to run. 

Fast forward to today, where I am no longer carrying an equivalent of 3 bags of rice, running or jogging suddenly seems so much easier. 

The first time I went to the gym, I was thrilled to find out that running at 7km/h did not leave me too breathless. The second time I went to the gym, I decided to try 7.5km/h. That was do-able. Then the next time at the gym I ran at 8km/h. I was thrilled. I decided to stick to that a few more times and then yesterday, I tried 8.5km/h and I could feel it was a little bit tiring yet, I could do it! I was so thrilled! I am going again tomorrow to see how many intervals of 8.5km/h I can do. My time on the treadmill I alternate between 2 minutes of brisk walking and 2 minutes of running. My new iPod Shuffle keeps me on the go with brilliant music all compiled by Kel - Thank You Kel!

The workout is then supplemented with resistance training. More entries on Adventures at the Gym to come... it suddenly seems like a whole new world out there!

Buying Queen

I tried rotating the photo upright but it is not co-operating!

Photo Insert: My new wardrobe.

I have lost count how many dresses I have bought over the span of the months I have been on this adventure. It all started with a dress I bought in KL in October and up to dresses I bought from Shane's shop Dainty (@ The Mall Gadong) because of a discount for my birthday. Actually, I could count them, if I chose to! 

I was sharing with some friends that the first time I could actually wear a dress and the fact that I could walk into a shop and not look for a plus size section was a really emotional moment for me. I almost teared up. All this time I have been envious of seeing others wearing frilly, floaty, girly, elegant dresses and NOW I can wear them! 

Also, some conversations I have had lately has brought a realization that previously, shopping was just buying anything that FIT as opposed to it looking good. There were so many times where I walked into a shop, headed for the section that sold the bigger sizes, looked at the rack for anything "big enough", tried it on, thought it looked OK and then make the purchase for the sake of buying "something". I am so grateful those days are OVER! I now have the choice to buy clothes because it looks GOOD on me!

Manila Adventures - February 2010

A weekend away in a new country with great friends and new experiences!

Attention!

I was in Manila last weekend and I was feeling flummoxed because I received so much attention from men! It was in a way a validation that I am on the right track. But I really don't need the attention of other men to make me feel good about myself and more importantly to love and accept myself for who I am. All I know is, after Manila, I have more resolve to keep on going and lose another 20kg!

A special moment with Anton!

Weight Loss Goals for Adventurers

 I got this from the Notes posted by Joseph on Facebook and I thought I would do one for weight loss.

TEACHING GOALS FOR MY STUDENTS - 
Quoted from Antonia M Rogers, Music Teacher (Flute) from Texas USA

Every teacher emphasizes different aspects of learning. After many years of teaching, I have identified the skills I believe are the most important in developing students who are technically proficient, love playing the flute, and embrace music in their lives. Some of these skills are measurable, others are not. I have achieved my goals when students: 

• Are successful musicians, not just flute players. 
• Play using proper technique with a beautiful tone. 
• Play musically and know how to phrase, where to breathe, and how to express the composer’s intentions and their own emotions through their playing. 
• Play a wide variety of solo and ensemble repertoire. 
• Become their own teacher by applying the basics of music theory and technique, solving their own technique problems, and learning to make choices. Students will not only perform certain pieces well, they will understand them and know how to practice the steps needed to perfect them. 
• Set personal, technical, and performance goals, and work toward becoming the best musician they can possibly be. 
• Enjoy their lessons and the benefits of personal relationships forged through music.
• Include music as a joyful part of their lives. They incorporate music into their lives by listening to classical music on the radio and on CDs, attending concerts, becoming passionate about their favorite pieces, sharing music with friends, playing in ensembles, and being eager to perform. My greatest wish is that their joy for music will infuse the rest of their lives. 
• Apply music skills such as goal setting and perseverance to other aspects of their lives, leading them to be more confident, happier people with a greater ability to succeed in other areas of their lives. True self-confidence is achieved through attempting important goals, overcoming challenges, and achieving goals. 

WEIGHT LOSS GOALS FOR ADVENTURERS -

Created by Rozana Yunos, Weight Loss Adventurer since September 2009

Every person has their reasons for embarking on a weight loss programme. Even though the ultimate goal suggest that weight loss is the most important aspect, there are other areas in which we know we have achieved our goal. Some are measurable and some are not. The most important thing is you accept the success and be proud of  yourself for the steps you are taking to create a healthier you!

 

I have achieved my goals when:

1. The clothes that I owned 10 years ago can now fit me!

2. I look in the mirror, I like and appreciate what I see.

3. My body measurements are reducing each week even though the weighing scale has not moved.

4. I enjoy simple food with fresh flavours and it doesn't have to be complicated in its preparation.

5. I can live without processed food.

6. I don't overeat and don't feel the need to eat more than what my body can take.

7. I can wear the dresses sold in shops and don't have to look for size XXL.

8. I can say NO to chocolate, ice cream and other sweet treats!

9. I look at food I used to eat and say "I can't believe I used to eat that!"

10. I feel light on my feet and dancing is so much easier!

11. I feel I have more energy, don't huff and puff when I go upstairs and can walk really fast.

12. I say, "I'm so glad I started this adventure!"

 

There's more...! How do you know when YOU have achieved your goals?

It Feels Good...

Truth be told, I've not done any physical activity for awhile. Perhaps a contradiction to one of my earlier posts about having more energy... I'm just choosing to use my energy for other things! And I'm human after all but today, after a 2 or was it 3 week hiatus, I've finally gone back to dancing with a different teacher. My first two teachers have left Brunei and I had to make a choice who I wanted to learn from. 

I'm back to learning latin dancing and some social dancing and I really like this dance instructor. It felt really good to be twirling and spinning on the dance floor and having that feeling where I don't have two left feet. Joel was perspiring more than I was! I'm sure my sweat glands will be working again. In the middle of doing the cha cha cha, because I had to get the footwork right, I could feel cramps in my calves! Luckily it went away and I survived 1.5 hours on the dance floor!

Unfortunately his schedule is quite packed, so I can only see him once a week which means I will need to figure out what else I can fit in. There's all the breathing exercises I've learned from voice class and that should work on flattening my tummy!

I've been feeling quite tense the past few days and doing physical activity definitely helps to release all this tension! I sometimes wonder what takes me so long to get back to doing things which I know is actually good for me. Another lesson to learn as I go on this adventure!

I look forward to my next class! 

Manifestation

25 September 2009 - Yvonne's Wedding...

I see Jason Ong a very talented photographer who set up Masamichi Studio snapping away photos for Yvonne's wedding. I thought to myself, "hmmm... it would be good to have my photos taken when I lose some weight." 

Jason snaps away into the night and on passing I say to him, "By end of this year, I will be going to you to have my photos taken."

In the middle of him fiddling with his camera, he looks up at me and says, "Ok."

Fast forward, 20 kg lighter, 29 November 2009 - Yvonne's Birthday over lunch at Excapade...

"Girls, are we still going to do a photo shoot with Jason?" I say to Yvonne and Ley Hian.

Yvonne replies, "Sure! Why not?"

Ley Hian chips in, "I've never done a photo shoot before, what do we do? When do we do it? I have to make sure it's in my diary."

I nod in agreement to Ley Hian's question and statement.

Yvonne looks at the both of us and said, "I've done it before, it's really lots of fun! I'll call Jason and make arrangements."

9 in the morning,on a BEAUTIFUL day in December 2009 - Getting Pampered...

Yvonne made bookings for the 3 of us at Rozad, her usual pampering place.

Yvonne gets her hair washed, steamed and blow dried and has her nails done.

Ley Hian gets her hair washed, blow dried and her nails done.

I get my hair washed, blow dried and make up done.

Esther, the make up artist, says to me, "You have beautiful eyes, how about I 'deepen' your eyes?"

I was feeling somewhat worried about this whole make up experience because I did NOT want to look different and I wanted to make sure my neck colour matches my face! I emphasized to her, "I want the make up really, really light! I'm ok you with you emphasizing the eyes... I think!"

One hour later and several layers of colour, Esther says to me, "I'll put on the eyelashes ok?"

I shook my head, "no way!" Why would I need to wear fake eyelashes? But she convinces me that it will make the look complete. I concede. We were already running late.

11:30am, Masamichi Studio - Models for the Day...

I have never "modeled" ever in my life. We've been posers for the camera definitely! Watching seasons and seasons of America's Next Top Model certainly helped! I had Tyra Bank's voice, plus Jay and the other guy who was always there at photo shoots helping out the models what to do.

It also helps that I did this with Yvonne and Ley Hian. We've done a lot together as a group. And it definitely helps that Jason is Yien Yien's brother! We know Yien Yien well so the connection helps. At least the comfort level is higher than if I went for a total stranger.

Jason made it so easy for all of us. I must say he is very observant and very experienced or either that very intuitive because he seemed to know what worked for us or what didn't work for us which I appreciated greatly! I felt good standing there in my different outfits and doing various poses. I was conscious of certain things like my arms and my tummy. But overall I was blown away when I looked at the photos from the camera that I actually looked small!

And the result of the photos of the whole shoot were brilliant! He has yet to touch them up. I can't imagine how else they would look touched up because to me they are already perfect! 

Appreciations...

Thank you Jason for being part of manifesting my dreams to become a reality.

Thank you Yvonne and Ley Hian for always being there supporting me in every way.

Thank you to the girls at Rozad for making me look really super.

Thank you to all my friends who are great supporters as I go on this adventure! You all have made such a big difference in your own ways.

Final Thoughts

Doing this photo shoot has got me thinking of how it will help me keep track of my progress. I've been setting myself 10kg milestones. Each time I lose 10kg I would go out to buy something as a reminder of what I have done. The first 10kg it was easy to buy a bag and a pair of shoes but I'm not out for material things. After doing the photo shoot, it dawned upon me that it's such a good way to retain memories of how successful I've been and really appreciating and celebrating me! I can't wait till the next photo shoot!

Please see the photo album "Manifestation" to see the whole set of photos.

Manifestation

I've imported this album from Facebook so I can share with you the results of the photoshoot I did with Yvonne and Ley Hian in the second week of December (2009).

These photos were taken by Jason Ong at Masamichi Studio.

Location:
Unit 28, Block B, 1st Floor, Delima Square, Kg Delima Satu, Muara, Brunei, BB4713

Phone:
Jason 8736473/ Michelle 8732628

Mon - Sat:
10:00 am - 6:00 pm

The Doctor Would Like to Speak to You...

*mobile phone rings*

"Hello, Siti Rozana?"

"Yes, speaking."

"I'm calling from D. Lim Clinic."

"Yes?"

"Your blood test results are here, the doctor would like to speak to you. Can you come in tomorrow?"

"Yes. See you tomorrow."

PANIC - words ringing in head "... the doctor would like to speak to you..."

*sms Shane*

"Shane! My blood test results are ready, the doctor says he wants to speak to me. Should I be worried?"

"Aiyah, you ah. No lah. I'm sure the results are good and he's just probably wondering how you did it. You tell him about the program lah. Give him the website address."

"Hmmm... ok lah. Thanks! :)"

*visit to clinic*

"Hi doctor!"

"Hi. Ok let's have a look at your results here... (he explains everything...)"

"Ummm... can we compare this to the results I took last time?"

"Sure. Ok your cholesterol has improved!"

"Cool!"

"Just keep up with what you're doing, you're on the right track!"

"Thank you! See you again in a few more weeks for another blood test!"

Shane is 10kg Lighter!

I received a text message from Shane today:

"Today is the best day!!! I lost exactly 10kg today!! Wow"

CONGRATULATIONS SHANE!

And she has lost 39cm in total all over!

And and... she can fit into her 10 year old jeans and looks really hot too!

I should get her picture up here. There's actually a recent picture of both of us taken by Jojo... if only I can get that picture up here and put up an old picture of us which I have from one of our trips, then you guys can really see the difference of how this adventure is really changing our lives!

A note for those who are wanting to go on this adventure, individual results do vary so don't be hard on yourself if you are not losing weight fast enough or the measurements don't go down around your thighs/butt/chest/arms. We are all different human beings, responding to things differently. Just focus on feeling GOOD and know that you are changing your life for the BETTER!

That's Two Bags of Rice!

Yesterday when I stepped on the weighing scale, I came in at 98.4kg! When I first started, I was 119.1kg. So I am really pleased with my progress. And these were the results I sent to Shane on 30 November as I enter week 12:

Chest: 112cm

Thigh: 71cm

Hips: 116cm

Waist: 91cm

Arm: 39cm

Total: 429cm

Total lost since start: 26.9cm

So again, another physical reminder for me about how far I have come is to remind myself of the two bags of rice on days I feel like giving in. The two bags of rice in the photo will soon be donated to my friend for the family's consumption! It's too heavy for me to carry up and down the stairs. I can't even believe that's how much I used to carry on myself everywhere!

Thank you Mummy for taking the photo!

Dedicated to Caryn

Caryn calls me "Bunny" in the office because she sees me as an Energizer Bunny!

Thank you Caryn for making it a self-fulfilling prophecy!

As I have heard somewhere before, words have the power to create or to destroy. Everyone be mindful of what you have to say! And who you say it to including yourself!

On this adventure, always choose to say "I AM beautiful, slim and healthy!" And it will all come true...

*hoppity hop*hoppity hop*hoppity hop*hop*hop*

Energy!

Sunday rolls around again. It comes so quickly! I went for my walk with Elaine and this time to make sure I was not late, I had slept at 10pm the night before and I woke up at 6am.

And I did so much better today than last week. For some reason I have a lot more energy! I think it's a combination of the weight loss and the supplements I've been taking.

According to Elaine, I scaled the Great Wall of China today! It's a good thing she only told me after I got to the top and down again. Otherwise my mind would have gone mad! I was telling myself not to look up so much and just focus on each step I was taking.

This week I am pleased with myself that I have incorporated activities that I enjoy:

Monday: Dance Class

Tuesday: The Brunei Speakers' Club

Wednesday: Clarinet Lesson 

Friday: Dance Class

Saturday: Hi Lo Aerobics

Saturday: Singing Lesson

Sunday: Walk at Bukit Shahbandar

With all this new-found energy, I am choosing to channel it in areas which bring me joy! I know that music fundamentally helps me with joyful expression of myself so that translates through the clarinet lessons, the singing lessons and the dance classes. It also helps the adventure because then you have other things to focus on apart from food!

With a healthy body, comes with it a heart full of expression and a spirit that resonates love!

My First Bag of Rice (Results After Week 4)

By the end of week 4, I stepped on the weighing scale and... I had lost a total of 9.6kg.

I was really hoping to lose my first 10kg by the end of the first month but it didn't happen. Was I disappointed? Not really. I had Liz's voice in my head who told me that sometimes it's not about the numbers, it's more about how you feel inside. And she's actually quite right. I feel really good about having lost weight in general that it doesn't matter how much! All this time the scale had been going up, so it's really nice for a change that the scale is actually going in the opposite direction!

Just today, which is 4 weeks plus 2 days, I stepped on the weighing scale and I jumped up and down for joy! I've hit the 10kg mark! Woo hoo! 

I had been saying that if I lose my first 10kg, I will buy a bag of rice to commemorate or to remind me that is how much I have lost. At least there is a physical reminder for me not to slip into bad or old habits or to give in to temptation.

Rozi goes a step further telling me that I ought to carry this bag of rice with me up and down the stairs. She says that it's good exercise for the arms. For me, it's a reminder that's how it felt like going up and down the stairs with 10kg extra on me.

My friends are so supportive! Shawn has sponsored my first bag of rice and dropped it off this evening after I had sent him and some other close friends a text message of my achievement. Thank you Shawn!

Shane says I ought to commemorate this achievement by buying something to remind me of the hard work I've put in. What can I treat myself to? After much deliberation, I had announced to her and the girls that I would get a pair of new shoes. Hunting for the right pair of shoes will be fun considering I've been wearing flats all this time, a nice pair of heels will be great!

But there's something else I would like and that is a laptop bag for my laptop(s). I was recommended to buy a Crumpler bag but I can't decide which. I was advised to bring my laptop to the shop to actually test which bag would be best.

Choices... choices... whatever it is, it feels so liberating knowing that right now, ANYTHING seems possible!

Shane's Trip to Food Paradise

I received a text message from Shane today. She went on a business trip to Hong Kong. I've been to Hong Kong before and the halal food I've tasted there is so yummy! I especially love the funky desserts they have! And Hong Kong is known to be "Food Paradise" that even the Asian Food Channel or was it Travel and Living has a competition about winning a trip for food and wine in Hong Kong! So imagine what it would be like when you can eat anything and everything!

Here's what she said,

"Hi girl! How u doing? I survived a trip to food paradise, so proud of myself not giving in to temptation!! Lost 5.2kg so far! yay!!!"

Congratulations Shane!  I am so proud of you!

*Pat on back for you and a BIG HUG to go with it!*