Brick Walls

Photo: Mummy, myself and Abah during the Toastmasters District 87 Annual Convention held in Kuching from 20-22 May 2011

This week has been challenging for me.

I was not well - even though it was only a cough, sore throat and fever I had inevitbly lost my voice, it hurt too much to speak and I felt weak. I took the day off and slept - for once I had conceeded and not forced myself to go in to work.

Then there's the usual stress at work that makes me feel like I want to eat everyone up... but that couldn't have possibly been good for my diet. Hence I had to find more effective ways of dealing with the stress.

And mid-week, my body decided to have a backache and my legs which have been nagging me with pain became more evident which generally made moving uncomfortable including needing to change positions when sleeping.

I had two emotional breakdowns where I cried real tears and freaked out my dance teacher whom had said something which I took personally.

Now being the end of the working week, I am relieved to see the weekend again. I have many concerned friends whom have asked me how I have been. I am not out to seek comfort and I appreciate them asking me. What I needed this week was to just go through a low period and not pretend. I was being myself - another part of myself that not many people get to see. And I knew it was up to me to pick myself up again. So I thought about my "brick walls" and how I struggle to get through them in the most effective way possible.

I decided to dig up my old speech which I had promised to post many months ago which I presented in Kuching in May 2011 and was placed 1st runner up in the International Speech Contest. Does it inspire me as I read it? One part of me wishes for more success and the other part of me is still proud of what I have done and who I became as a result of those experiences.

I hope you will conquer your brick walls too :-)

THE BRICK WALL

You and I are great construction workers. We have our bricks and we build walls.

Each brick that we lay into creating this wall is made up of: our challenges, our problems, our negative self-talk that we cannot do it, that we have failed before or why even bother trying? It is others saying we cannot do it or they do not believe in our abilities. It stops us from making progress. This wall is between you and your goals. This wall stops us from what we can be.

Contest Chair, Honourable Judges, Fellow Toastmasters, Ladies and Gentlemen…

Randy Pausch, the author of the Last Lecture said “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something.”

Our brick walls come in many shapes and sizes. Some are low which makes us trip and stumble in life. Others are bigger and taller and look impossible to break through. Our brick walls with can start from a very young age.

I was 8 years old when my parents sent me to an International School in Singapore. Coming from a Malay school in Brunei I experienced my first culture shock. EVERYTHING was in English. I could speak English. After all, I watched Sesame Street and read Archie comics.

I thought I was good but apparently “You eat, you eat already”, was not good enough.

I tortured my English teacher with many more of these in my essays. Not surprisingly, each essay was returned with red pen marks EVERYWHERE.

I wanted to be good at writing. I had a choice – be a construction worker and continue building this brick wall or break through it.

In my secondary school, there were two streams of English. The first stream was for students like me known as English as a Second Language. The other stream was for students whom were more proficient with English and they were in the main stream.

I thought, this is good! Mistakes like mine are common and normal because we speak English as a second language.  I didn’t take advantage of it. I persisted and continued to write pages and pages of essays and it was never good enough. The red pen marks seemed permanent and endless. I felt frustrated and wished I was back in Brunei.

Until one day, it finally paid off. I was told something that not many students who speak English as a second language get told. They said, Rozana, YOU deserve to be in main stream!

I broke through my brick wall and NOW I can proof read, correct and edit Phd research papers and even make money from it.

In reality, no one has JUST ONE brick wall.

Two years ago, this was how big my brick wall was (SHOW PANTS). A 120kg brick wall. This brick wall was standing in between me and good health. In 2009, my doctor threatened to put me on lifetime medication to control high blood pressure as a result of being overweight. At 30 years old, that seemed unacceptable. I still had my whole life to lead! There were boyfriends to date, a husband to marry, children to call my own and the illusion of living happily ever after!

I had a choice – be a construction worker and continue building this brick wall or break through it. This brick wall was so high. It was just too hard. Maybe I am meant to be fat. Wouldn't it be scary to be slim? Chocolate and ice cream was part of my staple diet. I should not deprive myself, why am I going through this torture. But the biggest brick of all was my mental state – could I actually do it? I thought to myself, I have tried to lose weight before, why bother to try again?

Yes, it was hard, but I wanted it so badly. I wanted to be able to put on my shoes without my stomach getting in the way. I wanted to stop people asking me if I was pregnant.

If I was going to get through this brick wall I made a choice to strengthen my resolve. In the first month, I lost 5kg. The element of doubt crept in. There must have been something wrong with the weighing scale. As the months progressed, with absolute determination, I continued to lose 5kg each month. By the sixth month, I lost an equivalent of a 9 year old child – that’s 30kg...

You, just like me have a choice. Be a construction worker and continue building your brick wall or break through it? Do we need super powers to break our brick walls? I say NO. Do we need extra arms and legs? I say NO. Do we need lots of money? I say NO. The brick walls are there for a reason. It is when we want something so badly we would make the choice to have the determination to be what we can be.

Look at the world around us. With the recent events of the floods in Australia, the earthquake in New Zealand and the earthquakes and tsunami to hit Japan, can we afford the time to allow our brick walls to stop us?

IF a disaster were to hit us right now, what regret would we have had in life? And what would you say to your children or loved ones when they are faced with their own brick walls?

LOOK AT IT OR BREAK THROUGH IT!

Photo: The winners of the International Speech Contest 2011 with the District Governor, Lieutenant Governor Education & Training and the Lieutenant Governor Marketing

 

Recognition

In May, a big group of us from Brunei went to the District 51 Toastmasters Annual Convention that was held in Miri, Malaysia. I have been to a number of Toastmasters conventions over the past number of years I have been a Toastmaster and the best part about attending these conventions consistently is meeting the same people at least twice, three and even four times a year! Even though the conversations are mostly brief, at least there is that moment of connection and because we are there for the same reasons, at least on the surface level, as Toastmasters we all unite together and are one big family.

I made my “appearance” on Friday night for the Welcome Night. I sat at the back of the hall with my Mummy and wandered around looking for familiar Toastmasters. Needless to say, most of them COULD NOT recognize me and had to do a double take! The obvious changes were that I was wearing contact lenses and I was not wearing my tudung (headscarf). I got complimented left and right to which I can only graciously say thank you to their sincere comments. It was a lot of fun having people “guess” who I was and most of them recognized me only when I spoke.

I sat down in front of Gerald Green, DTM, the man who made Toastmasters happen in our part of the world and he almost fell of his chair when I “re-introduced” myself! I was honoured because he introduced me to the VIP table and I got to meet the past International President Johnny Uyy!

The next day, Papa Gerald (as they fondly call him) delivered a keynote speech and I had the shock of my life when he asked me to stand! He described, “This girl last year, I could not put my arms around her, but last night after I met her, I was so shocked to see how much she has slimmed down. Rozana where are you?” I shrank in my chair before people started pointing in my direction and I stood up in a room which was occupied by 500 people! I honestly didn’t know how to feel. I didn’t feel proud of my achievement. I felt embarrassed!

What I didn’t know there and then was that my Mummy starting crying until she told me after the convention. She said for her, she felt so proud for me to be recognized in front of such a large crowd to acknowledge how hard I have worked to get to where I was. After knowing this, I didn’t realize how much an impact I have really made and how anyone can be an inspiration because in this world we are all looking to be inspired, to find that spark that makes it all worthwhile in our endeavours to create our better selves.

The “before” and “after” photo below is a testament to being an inspiration. Siti Intan, a good friend and work colleague began her own weight loss adventure by making simple changes to her diet and she has successfully lost 15kg! It proves to show with determination and discipline ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! We are all beacons of light continuously leading others out of the darkness and into the realm of possibility.

Me, Papa Gerald Green & Siti Intan - Kuching, April 2009

 

Ley Hian, Me & Siti Intan - Miri, May 2010

 

Congratulations Siti Intan on your achievement!

You are my inspiration as much as I am yours!

 

Crystal Ball

I won the Brunei Speakers' Club International Speech Contest with my speech entitled "Crystal Ball" and it shared a little story about my weight loss. The next level is the Area Contest on 7 March where I will be competing against the members from the other Toastmasters Clubs in Brunei and normally the speakers would do the same speech but I think I'll be changing mine just to spice things up a bit.

Enjoy!

CRYSTAL BALL

When I was a child, I stumbled across this beautiful crystal ball. And believing in fairy tales and magic I asked this crystal ball, “Crystal ball, show me my future!”

Magically, the crystal ball showed me my life. One, I was slim and gorgeous. Two, I was filthy rich, living life like those in Hollywood! And the best part, I was married to the most handsome, most loving husband, any woman could ask for. I was the envy of all in the land of… my dreams!

Good evening contest chair, honourable judges, fellow Toastmasters and friends.

The crystal ball has absolutely been spot on. Only 1 out of the 3 things mentioned came true! Not bad. Where we now live in a time of economic recession and good men are becoming as scarce as oil, I would say I still did quite well.

Over the past few years, I have reflected what makes our life the way it is? Do we really need to seek the help of a crystal ball to see into our future? The truth is, you already know the answer. The magic is inside of you. You cannot and you do not rely on your crystal ball to tell you everything there is you need to know.

There are too many people who go through life waiting for things to happen. Or they wonder, what happened? Or those who actually make things happen. And that is you and I. We make things happen… when we choose to.

Growing up, my crystal ball began to predict a glum outlook of my life. It was telling me that I will always be fat and overweight. I began to find comfort in acknowledging this future predicted by my crystal ball. I over enjoyed and I overindulged in my eating habits. All social events were used for good company and an excuse to “celebrate” life! The adage of I live to eat, was somehow the only truth I knew. And exercise existed although it was limited to walking up the stairs from the car park to the office. I was truly living the life predicted by my crystal ball. I was meant to be overweight.

Then it came to a point in time where wake up calls happen and shattered the crystal ball into tiny pieces. Mine came at a point where I felt unwell and feverish. I visited the doctor and he took my blood pressure. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the reading. I at the age of 30 years old was on the brink of being diagnosed with high blood pressure. In simple terms, I am in BIG trouble if I didn’t do anything especially someone of my size. Being overweight was already a problem. But being overweight and having high blood pressure can be life threatening. I did not expect this at all. My crystal ball didn’t warn me beforehand.

It was time to take action and mean it! I recreated a new crystal ball that projected an image of me slimmer, healthier and happier. I held this thought in my mind’s eye as I begun the process. It was not an easy journey and we must not get deceived that everything that we do will be challenge-free.

Throughout this weight loss program, I met many people who just don’t seem to understand or they make like they are weight loss experts even though they have not lost any weight themselves. Cutting back on my food intake was not a problem. And re-educating myself about healthy food was not the issue either. I can be pretty disciplined when I choose to. The little comments that people make frustrate me. Just the other day, at a dinner party, I had fruit instead of cake and ice cream and one of my friends said to me upfront, “Is that all you’re having? So boring.” When he was well aware I was on an eating plan.

And another time, a friend I was having dinner with, said to me, “Go on have some it won’t hurt.” When it fact it would.

Another friend one time said to me, “Rozana, are you sure that’s your portion. No more for you!” And he took the food away from me! When in fact I didn’t have enough to eat.

At each moment, I wanted to cry because I had been doing my best to follow my eating plan and it was a choice that I had made for myself and they think they knew better than me. I didn’t take it personally. What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.

Whatever we choose to do, there will always be ups and downs. Fortunately for me, there were many downs. I saw the numbers on the weighing scale go down, down, down. And in 5 months, from 119kg, I became 89kg. That’s 30kg in 5 months along with a loss in total body measurement of over 50cm, it was unimaginable!

The walking result stands before you today. I made my own future. I created the life I was looking to lead. I took action. In the end, it was up to me to make it happen. I didn’t need a crystal ball to tell me what I can be, do or have in life. All I needed was a strong intention that was driven purely from the heart.

What about you? Will you be the one who will go through life waiting for things to happen or even wonder what happened? Or will you be the one who chooses to make things happen? You don’t need a crystal ball. The magic comes from within you. It comes from following your heart to manifest your dreams and desires. As Helen Keller said, "Beautiful things are not only seen by the eyes, but is also felt by the heart." So long as we carry our hearts with us and take action, we will never ever need a crystal ball.

Energy!

Sunday rolls around again. It comes so quickly! I went for my walk with Elaine and this time to make sure I was not late, I had slept at 10pm the night before and I woke up at 6am.

And I did so much better today than last week. For some reason I have a lot more energy! I think it's a combination of the weight loss and the supplements I've been taking.

According to Elaine, I scaled the Great Wall of China today! It's a good thing she only told me after I got to the top and down again. Otherwise my mind would have gone mad! I was telling myself not to look up so much and just focus on each step I was taking.

This week I am pleased with myself that I have incorporated activities that I enjoy:

Monday: Dance Class

Tuesday: The Brunei Speakers' Club

Wednesday: Clarinet Lesson 

Friday: Dance Class

Saturday: Hi Lo Aerobics

Saturday: Singing Lesson

Sunday: Walk at Bukit Shahbandar

With all this new-found energy, I am choosing to channel it in areas which bring me joy! I know that music fundamentally helps me with joyful expression of myself so that translates through the clarinet lessons, the singing lessons and the dance classes. It also helps the adventure because then you have other things to focus on apart from food!

With a healthy body, comes with it a heart full of expression and a spirit that resonates love!

A Hungry Man is an Angry Man

I went to the Brunei Speakers' Club today and I was called upon to do an impromptu speech. This week the Table Topics Master had decided that his theme was "Proverbs" and he chose some which were popular and some which were not that familiar to me. He asked us to deliver a speech and after our 2 minutes, he will give the definition to see how close we were to the actual meaning of the proverb.

It was amusing that I got this proverb "A hungry man is an angry man." It was weird, I didn't know what it meant because all I could do was take it literally! How I interpreted it was that not being able to eat the foods that your body was once used to, you will start to feel withdrawal symptoms just like when you choose to quit smoking, and then these withdrawal symptoms can cause you to become emotional. Now day 9 into this programme, I do feel the level of irritation and frustration and I am seriously doing my best not to let it out on anyone. Maybe I should go punch the punching bag in the gym or something or scream into my pillow!

I found out later though that the proverb presented to me actually means "A person who does not get what he wants or needs is a frustrated person and will be easily provoked to rage." Maybe I can still relate this to food. The fact I am not able to eat what I want to eat makes me frustrated and I feel some level of anger within me. Not being able to eat what I feel like eating, on the outset, I don't think people are able to tell because it seems I'm handling this quite well. I don't really talk about it so much. I don't complain so much. But it's reflected in my feelings and as the famous line goes "And this too shall pass..."

At the same time this is all about focus. What am I focusing my energy on? And that I am reminded to be grateful of all the gifts from God. I really like this saying, "Happiness is not when you get what you want but happiness is when you want what you have." I have it all. 

The human mind is so complex, I really know this situation is temporary. Just hang in there!

The Race by D.H Groberg

I attended OTTERS TMC's meeting on 28 February at OGDC Seria and decided to present one of my speech projects. The last time I presented a speech was in October 2007. So it was high time that I did.

The current manual I'm working on is part of the Advanced Communication series called Interpretive Reading. Interpretive reading is a form of speech communication by itself, but it has functions in other areas as well. Any quotes you use in your speeches to illustrate a point will be far more effective if you can read them properly. In business, you may be called upon to present reports and speeches written by others. If you're a teacher or parent, you may read stories aloud to youngsters.

An interpretive reader will be communicate the ideas and emotions of someone else. The projects in this manual covers requires the speaker to convey the meaning and emotions of someone else to the audience. How you do this is mostly through the use of vocal techniques which I've acquired and got better at through Toastmasters.

The second project I did required me to Interpret Poetry. So I found this poem which I thought would be great to share and I practiced it lots to make sure that I got the feelings the author wanted to convey across to the audience.

The result? An inspirational evening!

The Race by D.H. Groberg
(extracted from "A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul" - Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen)

I
"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"
They shout at me and plead.
"There's just too much against you now;
This time you can't succeed!"

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failure's face
My downward fall is broken by
The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene;
For just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being.

II
A children's race - young boys, young men -
How I remember well.
Excitement, sure! But also fear;
It wasn't hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race.
Or tie for first, or if not that,
At least take second place.

And fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering from his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they went!
Young hearts and hopes afire.
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boy's desire.

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought;
"My dad will be so proud!"

But as he speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip,
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped.

Trying hard to catch himself
His hands flew out to brace,
And mid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face.

So down he fell and with him hope
- He couldn't win it now -
Embarrassed, sad, he only wished
To disappear somehow

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face.
Which to the boy so clearly said:
"Get up and win the race!"

He quickly rose, no damage done
- Behind a bit, that's all -
And ran with all his mind and might
To make up for his fall.

So anxious to restore himself
- to catch up and win -
His mind went faster than his legs;
He slipped and fell again!

He wished then he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now;
I shouldn't try this race."

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his father's face;
That steady look which said again:
"Get up and win the race!"

So he jumped up to try again
- Ten yards behind the last -
"If I'm going to gain those yards," he thought,
"I've got to move real fast."

Exerting everything he had
He gained eight or ten,
But trying so hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again!

Defeat! He lied there silently
- A tear dropped from his eye -
"There's no sense running anymore:
Three strikes: I'm out! Why try?"

The will to rise had disappeared;
All hope had fled away;
So far behind; so error-prone
A loser all the way.

"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought
"I'll live with my disgrace."
But then he thought about his dad
Who soon he'd have to face.

"Get up," an echo sounded low.
"Get up and take your place;
You were not meant for failure here
Get up and win the race."

"With borrowed will get up," it said,
"You haven't lost it all.
For winning is no more than this;
To rise each time you fall."

So up he rose to run once more,
And with a new commit
He resolved that win or lose
At least he wouldn't quit.

So far behind the others now,
- The most he'd ever been -
Still he gave it all he had
And ran as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling;
Three times he rose again;
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place.
Head high, and proud, and happy;
No falling; no disgrace.

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line last place;
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race.

And even though he came in last
With head bowed low, unproud,
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said,
"I didn't do too well."
"To me, you won," his father said.
"You rose each time you fell."

III
And when things seem dark and hard
And difficult to face,
The memory of that little boy
Helps me in my race

For all of life is like that race.
With ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win,
Is rise each time you fall.

"Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"
They still shout in my face.
But another voice within me says
"GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!" 

The F Word

I wrote this speech for the Humorous Speech Contest in 2004 if I'm not mistaken. And I made it to Division level (I competed against other contestants from Sabah) and was first runner up! I had fun with this speech and I hope you have just as much fun reading it

The F Word by Rozana Yunos, ATM-B, CL

The F word is the most insulting word in the English language. It is so powerful, children scream, strong men shudder and animals run for cover. It makes you cringe and squirm in your seat. It will shock you and haunt you for the rest of your life. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you know what’s coming.

Good morning honourable judges, fellow Toastmasters, friends, ladies and gentlemen.

Usually, we never use the F word in Toastmasters but today, that F word will be muttered not only by me, eventually by all of you. Of course I’m speaking about FAT!

All my life I had done everything I could to make sure people accepted me, maybe even liked me despite my fat. I was the perfect daughter, a loyal friend and now working so hard to be a great Toastmaster.

As a fat child, I got called all sorts of names. I was chubby cheeks, thunder thighs, fatso and fatty. Now I have graduated to names like horizontally challenged, big boned, obese, heavy, large and overweight. I think chubby cheeks is so much cuter.

As a fat teenager, I never expected to wear any trendy clothes and each time I went shopping, they would ask me if I was pregnant. It still happens. I swear, if one more person congratulates me on being pregnant, I’ll scream!

Even when I go to the hairdresser, she tells me I need to lose weight but all I wanted was a haircut! When I go to my dentist and I complain about a toothache, he tells me to lose weight. Does my teeth have anything to do with my weight?

People told me, they could hear a thin person screaming to get out of me but I decided to keep her locked in. Fear of being fat, does nothing for you except get in your way. I guarantee that worrying about it doesn’t whiten your teeth or cure depression and it won’t make you look any better in your clothes or out of them.

Face your fear, perhaps it sounds crazy but conquer your fear of fat! You will be surprised that there are more books, journals and papers on cancer than about fat cells.

Some people can’t even pronounce the word ‘dyslexic’. Others have problems saying ‘hypochondriac’ or ‘claustrophobic’. But the F-word is easy: cat, bat, rat, sat… fat! See? Now you try it!

Fat is your best friend. This I discovered after battling it for so many years. Now I don’t fight it anymore. In fact, I have been preparing for this contest for weeks. If you think you’re the only ones that have to watch what you eat, me too! I have been on a strict diet, no less than 10000 calories a day!

Let me share with you what I like about being a plus size.

People like to hug a soft person. I am a human cushion. Comfortable to sleep with and soft in the right places. Being fat really gives meaning to a big fat hug! Hug a fat person, if you have never tried it, you will definitely like it. Go on do yourself a favour, hug a fat person today!

My friends like me for who I am and not for who I try to be. I am a unique person and not made from a cookie cutter. Now when I meet with a fat friend, instead of hugging hello, we bump bellies instead! Being fat, I certainly aspire to be a female sumo wrestler or even be a part of the fat female modeling scene. I could be “MISS FAT”. As Miss Fat, we all should hope for world peace, not thinner thighs.

My favourite reason of all is –

How many of you are a one man band? I am! My body parts can be used as a musical instrument. Who remembers this tune? (Slap various parts of body - YES I really did this and the clip on mike fell off).

Fat people can do so many things! We should remove this generalization about being fat. People who are fat are not necessarily lazy or stupid. There are healthy ‘fat’ people. Being fat does not mean that it’s wrong. Just like that there’s nothing wrong with being short or tall, black or brown. Simply put, you just can’t judge a book by its cover.

If someone was to go up to you and say “You’re Fat!” tell them “You bet I am. I’m
 

FRIENDLY

ARTICULATE &

TERRIFIC!”
 

If it hadn't been for Kuntum...

I once wrote this speech for one of my projects in the Storytelling manual - "Bringing History to Life". The story is inspired by how my parents met but they only told me bits and pieces of how they met (after I questioned them persistently...) and so I fleshed it out to turn it into a speech. I think it's a lovely story and I hope that my parents will find it amusing since I may not have the facts completely straight and make them think back even more those days when they first got to know each other and how the love had blossomed between them.


"IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR KUNTUM" by Rozana Yunos, ATM-B, CL

Faridah tucked her thick, black curly hair behind her ears as she sat on her bed clutching a letter. She smoothed the creases in her baggy baju kurung and studied the brown envelope. It was addressed to her, "Faridah Abdullah, 13 Jalan Tenggiri, Batu Pahat, Johor, Malaysia." It bore a stamp from Brunei and she knew exactly who it was from.

She ripped open the envelope and unfolded the paper. She tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths and her hands quivered. She had always felt that way each time she received a letter with that familiar handwriting.

15 December 1961

My dearest,
How have you been? I have good news! I am being sent to Singapore as part of my Brunei Administrative Officer's training and I will be there for 6 months. There will be a group of us. It's not Malaysia but at least I will be closer to you than I am now. It will take me 4 hours to get to Paya Lebar Airport in Singapore from Brunei after making a stop in Kuching. I don't know if it's too much to ask but would it be possible to see you some how? I will be arriving at 2pm on 15 January. Do take care.

With Love, Yunos

Faridah's heart leapt into her throat. This was her chance to meet her love! A man she had gotten to know only through his words on paper. Faridah and Yunos had begun their correspondence with each other in 1958 as pen pals. She chuckled to herself as she reflected on how he had actually started off as Kuntum's pen pal but in the end Kuntum, her best friend had decided that Faridah should be the one who should continue writing to Yunos. Ever since then, a letter from Brunei would be delivered every 3 days.

Faridah smiled at the thought of Yunos's black and white photograph that was hidden in her dresser drawer. Hidden away because her mother did not know anything about their relationship. She took out the photo where Yunos stood tall and slim, looking smart in his long sleeved shirt and tie and his black rimmed glasses. She asked herself, "Will he look this good in person too?"

Excited at the prospect of finally meeting him in person, Faridah rushed out of the house and cycled as fast as she could to Kuntum's house. "Kuntum! Kuntum!" she called out gasping. Kuntum came out of the house, hastily positioning a shawl over her head. "What is it Edot?" she asked, calling Faridah by her nickname.

"Look...!" exclaimed Faridah, pointing at the letter. Kuntum stood next to Faridah and they read the letter together. Kuntum could hardly believe what she was reading and pushed Faridah playfully and asked "What are you going to do?" Faridah smiled affectionately at Kuntum whom she had known for as long as she could remember. “I was thinking of going but... I need you to come with me! Will you come with me?"

Kuntum fell silent and stared at the ground. Suddenly she blurted out, "I never thought you'd ask!" They held hands and jumped up and down with excitement and joy as they made plans.

Faridah replied eagerly to Yunos after Kuntum had bought the bus tickets.

20 December 1961

My dearest,
Yes! I will be able to meet you at Paya Lebar Airport when you arrive. Kuntum will be there too. We have already bought our bus tickets. I can't wait to see you! And I hope we will be able to recognise each other!

All my love, Faridah

On the appointed day, Faridah and Kuntum boarded the bus enthusiastically. Faridah was nervous as she kept peeking at the photograph of Yunos. "How will he feel when he sees me? How will I feel when I see him?" The same thoughts kept running through her mind. Upon arrival at the airport, Faridah took one last look in the mirror. She wore a fitting kebaya with sarong that showed off her figure. "How do I look?" she asked Kuntum. Kuntum laughed and replied "Beautiful! Just beautiful!"

A group of smartly dressed men in white shirts and black ties stepped into the arrival hall and one man immediately stood out from the rest. Faridah made eye contact with him straight away. Soon he was standing in front of Faridah and as if in a dream, time seemed to stand still and things began to move in slow motion. They shook hands and exchanged a few words. All the time not taking their eyes of each other. "Hey Yunos!" called out one of his friends. Faridah suddenly realising others were watching them became embarrassed. Faridah felt her face go red. "I have to go" Yunos told her. "I'll write to you." Faridah could only nod and watch him walk off with the others.

Kuntum gently tapped Faridah on the shoulder. "Time to go. He's really handsome eh? Imagine if it hadn't been for me, you wouldn't have known each other!" Faridah turned another shade of red, just nodded and left hand in hand with her best friend, excited at what the future would hold for her and Yunos.

Faridah and Yunos were married on 15 July 1962 in Batu Pahat, Johor, Malaysia. Soon after they were married, Yunos took his new wife back to Brunei to meet his family for the first time. They now have 5 children, lots of grandchildren and have been happily married for 45 years (and counting) now.

If it hadn't been for Kuntum, my parents would not have found each other and I would not have been able to type out this story for you.

 

The Brunei Speakers' Club & HSBC Brunei Speakers Group Joint Installation Dinner

Start:	Aug 18, '07 7:00p
Location:	Orchid Garden Hotel

We will have a joint installation dinner to formally install the executive committees for both clubs for the term 2007-2008. We will also showcase what Toastmasters is all about as well as display some Toastmasters talent! Come along and bring some friends to witness this great occasion!

Tickets are priced at BND35 each which includes dinner. Drop me a line if you'd like some :-)