I wrote this speech for the Humorous Speech Contest in 2004 if I'm not mistaken. And I made it to Division level (I competed against other contestants from Sabah) and was first runner up! I had fun with this speech and I hope you have just as much fun reading it
The F Word by Rozana Yunos, ATM-B, CL
All my life I had done everything I could to make sure people accepted me, maybe even liked me despite my fat. I was the perfect daughter, a loyal friend and now working so hard to be a great Toastmaster.
As a fat child, I got called all sorts of names. I was chubby cheeks, thunder thighs, fatso and fatty. Now I have graduated to names like horizontally challenged, big boned, obese, heavy, large and overweight. I think chubby cheeks is so much cuter.
As a fat teenager, I never expected to wear any trendy clothes and each time I went shopping, they would ask me if I was pregnant. It still happens. I swear, if one more person congratulates me on being pregnant, I’ll scream!
Even when I go to the hairdresser, she tells me I need to lose weight but all I wanted was a haircut! When I go to my dentist and I complain about a toothache, he tells me to lose weight. Does my teeth have anything to do with my weight?
People told me, they could hear a thin person screaming to get out of me but I decided to keep her locked in. Fear of being fat, does nothing for you except get in your way. I guarantee that worrying about it doesn’t whiten your teeth or cure depression and it won’t make you look any better in your clothes or out of them.
Face your fear, perhaps it sounds crazy but conquer your fear of fat! You will be surprised that there are more books, journals and papers on cancer than about fat cells.
Some people can’t even pronounce the word ‘dyslexic’. Others have problems saying ‘hypochondriac’ or ‘claustrophobic’. But the F-word is easy: cat, bat, rat, sat… fat! See? Now you try it!
Fat is your best friend. This I discovered after battling it for so many years. Now I don’t fight it anymore. In fact, I have been preparing for this contest for weeks. If you think you’re the only ones that have to watch what you eat, me too! I have been on a strict diet, no less than 10000 calories a day!
Let me share with you what I like about being a plus size.
People like to hug a soft person. I am a human cushion. Comfortable to sleep with and soft in the right places. Being fat really gives meaning to a big fat hug! Hug a fat person, if you have never tried it, you will definitely like it. Go on do yourself a favour, hug a fat person today!
My friends like me for who I am and not for who I try to be. I am a unique person and not made from a cookie cutter. Now when I meet with a fat friend, instead of hugging hello, we bump bellies instead! Being fat, I certainly aspire to be a female sumo wrestler or even be a part of the fat female modeling scene. I could be “MISS FAT”. As Miss Fat, we all should hope for world peace, not thinner thighs.
My favourite reason of all is –
How many of you are a one man band? I am! My body parts can be used as a musical instrument. Who remembers this tune? (Slap various parts of body - YES I really did this and the clip on mike fell off).
Fat people can do so many things! We should remove this generalization about being fat. People who are fat are not necessarily lazy or stupid. There are healthy ‘fat’ people. Being fat does not mean that it’s wrong. Just like that there’s nothing wrong with being short or tall, black or brown. Simply put, you just can’t judge a book by its cover.
If someone was to go up to you and say “You’re Fat!” tell them “You bet I am. I’m
FRIENDLY
ARTICULATE &
TERRIFIC!”
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