The Last Supper?

It felt a bit strange having dinner this evening knowing that it was my "last" no holds barred meal. My mind debated whether I should actually go through with this. Mummy made her very yummy custard which she only makes once a year during the fasting month. And my mind was saying, "think about all those yummy food you're going to miss!" Uhuh. I think I've already stuffed myself with yummy food over the past 25 years (not counting the first 5 years when I was fed food which I did not necessarily choose). What is just 6 to 8 months not eating it all? 

Actually my dad suggested that I ought to start after the fasting month is over and enjoy the first 10 days of Hari Raya. I could. That would have been an option but I was thinking to myself, I've had many years of enjoying good Hari Raya food and for some reason I brought myself back to those days where I felt bloated from eating so much. I don't think I would like to put myself through that. I look at all my baju kurungs which I've accumulated over the past few years and I think it would be nice to fit into some of them again.

Last night I had dinner at Pek Ching and YC's house. The chef was Boon Hui and he cooked us a fantastic meal! We had lamb with potatoes, roast chicken drumstick, seafood pasta, mashed potatoes, salad and pumpkin soup. I really enjoyed my meal but I wondered whether I was eating to compensate I would not get to enjoy some of the food come the start of the eating plan. By the time dessert came, I had my portion AND part of Yvonne's portion and I knew that I was over doing it. I think before I wouldn't have given it much thought. Just the idea of going on this eating plan is already raising my levels of awareness.

Some of my friends who were present at the dinner were saying to me that if I lose all this weight that I have right now I wouldn't be as huggable as they have experienced all this time. *Sigh* I really appreciate them for accepting me for who they see on the inside but it really is important I do this. It has really become clear that I am doing this for myself and no one else. 

It's time to get serious. And I will do my best!