No Desire

I had a really full day! I had one of my dreams manifested and that was to do a photo shoot! More about the photo shoot in the next entry...

What I realized from having such a full day, at least for me, was that when I am really focused on something, I don't think about food! I was so occupied with changing clothes, posing, having the photos taken, chatting and so on that I didn't really think about food. Well no, that's a lie. I did think about food but there was no time to actually go grab some in the midst of the happy hustle and bustle. So I missed my snacks (yes, you are allowed to snack on this adventure but only certain snacks!) and went straight to lunch.

It got me thinking while I am at the office or at home, but more so in the office. While I'm working, I'm thinking (perhaps too much) and in that thought process, I spot my snacks beside me and all I want to do is eat them! It's like you have this programming within you that you must eat it since it's there. And I guess that must mean I am not completely focused with what I'm doing... a-ha! Good awareness!

We had lunch and then attended the Brunei Australia Alumni Association where they were having a food fair! On hindsight, I should have taken a photo to show you of the yummy spread on the table complete with labels brought by all the talented chefs who really made the effort in presenting the food! But I didn't. And it's because I had no desire to eat any of it. One of the few reasons was that I just had lunch so I was still feeling full and as my afternoon progressed, I still had no desire. Not even a single bit of craving! I appreciated looking at all the beautiful food but my taste buds just did not respond.

What a fascinating experience! I settled for cold water and good conversation with friends. I kept myself occupied and my focus was not on the food. It was more on the people and my surroundings. 

And I have this quote which I think pretty much sums things up:

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings." 

According to Yahoo! Answers it means - "When you are bored and have nothing to do, you will find things to entertain yourself which can lead to mischief!" 

Snacking is a result of finding "something" to do and it's not bad if the snacks are healthy. Just be wary of what you put inside of you. There is only one body and only one lifetime to live. Take good care of what you have.

Not Taking it for Granted

I have been thinking and this thought has been in my head the past few days about not taking things for granted. 

Once upon a time, I used to weigh 80kg. That was the time where I was studying in England and I discovered the joy of aerobics, walking and realizing that I have control over my food. So I did aerobics 5 times a week, walked everywhere I went and ate normally.

What I realized about my body was that I was still BIG and needed to lose more when in actual fact I was already small. I didn't have any awareness at all about my body!

Being in Brunei, I put on weight because at that time the only way to spend time with people was to eat eat eat. I noticed I was putting on weight but didn't think too much about it. My awareness about my body was still low.

Then I decided to repeat this pattern of mine. I invested in a personal trainer, a gym membership and at the gym 5 times a week where on the weekends I would work out for 3 hours. This time the scale did not go down but I was getting smaller. It must have been all the muscle! I was eating really healthy or was I starving myself? All I remember is that if I had not eaten in a while, I would start to shake. I was more or less an ok size. And then... I fell down half a flight of stairs, hurt my foot really bad and it took so long to recover that I lost the momentum of going to the gym.

I'm not sure what was going through my mind but there was low awareness about the body and the food I was consuming. I got bigger. And I love to wear black! (In fact I still like to wear black but now I'm not so shy to wear more colours.)

Until *bang* I hit the 120kg mark, it hurt when I walked or stood too long, my blood pressure was on the border of going into the high range and each time I go to the doctor for any reason, they would give me some sort of look... The kind that says "If you know what's good for you, go lose weight!"

So after 3 years of fighting with myself, I finally took action by going on this adventure. And I am very grateful that I am now more aware of my body because now I recognize I am getting smaller and I am choosing not to repeat the patterns which I put myself through a couple of years ago. I am still critical of what I see in the mirror but I think that will disappear over time. I really don't want to take me for granted and to throw away all this hard work. I am 97.5 kg and I am proud of it so far!

The Rice Giving Ceremony

Today's rice giving ceremony involves the following steps:

1. Pick up the two bags of rice and take a picture with it because next time you might be taking a picture with 3 or 4 bags!

 

2. Carry the two bags of rice downstairs without any help (to remind yourself that this was how much you used to carry!)

3. Place the two bags of rice in the vehicle of the person receiving the rice.

4. Take a picture of the person receiving the rice looking very happy!

I hope you and your family enjoy the rice Intan! 

Work In Progress

Before

After

Thank you for the new top and belt Haslina!

That's Two Bags of Rice!

Yesterday when I stepped on the weighing scale, I came in at 98.4kg! When I first started, I was 119.1kg. So I am really pleased with my progress. And these were the results I sent to Shane on 30 November as I enter week 12:

Chest: 112cm

Thigh: 71cm

Hips: 116cm

Waist: 91cm

Arm: 39cm

Total: 429cm

Total lost since start: 26.9cm

So again, another physical reminder for me about how far I have come is to remind myself of the two bags of rice on days I feel like giving in. The two bags of rice in the photo will soon be donated to my friend for the family's consumption! It's too heavy for me to carry up and down the stairs. I can't even believe that's how much I used to carry on myself everywhere!

Thank you Mummy for taking the photo!

One Hundred & Ten Over Seventy

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my blood test done. On this adventure you must go get a blood test every 6 weeks to see if there are any improvements in your blood profile. I missed the first 6 weeks and now on my second 6 weeks, I was ready to go for it. It's important that you fast 10-12 hours before the blood test so that you can get accurate readings on the following:

1. Lipid Profile (Total Cholesterol, HDL Cholesterol, LDL Cholesterol, Cholesterol/HDL Ratio and Triglycerides)
2.  Diabetes Mellitus Profile (Glucose)
3. Liver Profile (Total Bilirubin, Total Protein, Albumin, Globulin, A/G Ratio, SGPT/ALT, SGOT/AST, Gamma GT, Alkaline Phosphatase, Lactate Dehydrogenase)
4. Kidney Profile (Sodium, Potassium, Chloride, Urea)
5. Serum Creatinine (Creatinine)

This is actually just the basic blood test and most clinics will offer it in a package.

I look forward to receiving my blood test in a couple of days and to make a comparison from when I first did the blood test prior to going on this adventure.

Dr. Lim also took my blood pressure and I was so happy when he told me it's 110/70! Normal range is 120/80. I still remember when it was the time I was running around busy helping out with Rozi's wedding in June that my blood pressure was 180/90! I recall I was so upset that I cried...

Now, progress has been made and I'm so pleased with myself!

Dedicated to Caryn

Caryn calls me "Bunny" in the office because she sees me as an Energizer Bunny!

Thank you Caryn for making it a self-fulfilling prophecy!

As I have heard somewhere before, words have the power to create or to destroy. Everyone be mindful of what you have to say! And who you say it to including yourself!

On this adventure, always choose to say "I AM beautiful, slim and healthy!" And it will all come true...

*hoppity hop*hoppity hop*hoppity hop*hop*hop*